How old is SQL? Older than my grandmother! (Almost) Granted today's standards have changed over time from the use of inline SQL to Stored Procedures, but the change that I propose would also cut the length of our Stored Procedures in HALF. What I want is simple: combine UPDATE and INSERT into one statement. There's many different options here, but I believe the best way would be to simply add an additional parameter to the UPDATE statement that would basically let the server KNOW to INSERT the record if it didn't already exist. UPDATEINSERT TableName SET Field1=data1,Field2=data2 WHERE ID=1 ?? UPDATE OR INSERT TableName ... UPDATE TableName SET .. WHERE ... IF NOT EXIST INSERT At least make INSERT work the same: INSERT INTO TableName SET Field1=data1,Field2=data2. At least then we could simple swap INSERT INTO with UPDATE and add a WHERE. Any one else have any better ideas?